Reader’s Question

I wanted to ask, if it was common, for children, around the age of 5, to imagine that their parents, are not their real parents, and that the real parents, will come back and get them. I’ve always remembered this from my childhood, and I don’t remember all that much, from that age.

Thank you, Holly

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Imaginary lives and friends are not common in children — they are VERY common in children. One study found that two-thirds of children have an imaginary friend by the age of seven years. When children fantasize, they are not hindered by reality and can imagine any situation, life, or history. It’s very common for children to explore alternative lives. My granddaughter at that age suddenly announced she was from Iowa (600 miles away) and was adopted.

In terms of memory, children tend to have a partial recollection of events under the age of about four years. Memory is actually a neurological storage activity and those memory and recollection systems are developing during that time. Having bits and pieces of memories are common. Memories that continue into childhood are often those that are retold as funny family stories, keeping the memory alive.

Enjoy that memory as part of your childhood. Nothing psychologically “deep” there, just a common fantasy of childhood in an individual with a good imagination. It’s a healthy sign…