Reader’s Question

I get bored of new things (clothes, gadgets, relationships). Why can’t I be happy with what I have? How do I learn to be happy with what I have?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Being happy with what we have would keep everyone at a standstill. It’s normal to want to improve, change, or modify our situation. There’s the old saying “variety is the spice of life”.

From a clinical standpoint, new things are one of several options we use to improve our happiness. Buying things, new clothes, relationships, etc. Other options include being with friends, hobbies, personal interests, family, etc.

If you’re having a lot of trouble with this issue, then the question becomes more specific — “Why can’t I be happy?”. That’s something different and not related to clothes and gadgets. Stress, depression, and other psychological factors often limit our ability to be happy. When that happens, we begin a quest to find something to make us happy such as gadgets, relationships, trips, alcohol/drugs, purchases, etc.

If everything we touch gives us pain — we have a broken hand. If nothing brings happiness — then the problem is we’re unhappy. In that situation, we need to explore our unhappiness and not focus on why specific options don’t make us happy. I would recommend counseling to explore why nothing makes you happy. I suspect you may be dealing with a type of chronic yet mild depression or stress disorder.