Reader’s Question

I’m 16 years old, and lately I’ve been feeling different in all areas of my life — socially and emotionally. I feel like I’m not performing as well in school, though I still do well, and that I act differently towards others including my friends and family, and I feel as though this is noticeable. My dad has been working out of state, with visits every 2 weeks or so home at time. I’ve never had a problem with this and seemed to have gotten through this okay over the past year (I thought that might be important). I’m not sure why I’ve been feeling weird and out of whack lately and I don’t think it’s stress because I get things done pretty easily at home. any ideas as to what I’m going through? Any help is appreciated.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

“Feeling different” is a difficult symptom to discuss but I suspect I understand your situation. While it’s hard to believe, the most likely cause is stress. Stress can be thought of as our current level of responsibility, obligation and activity. If you review the past year of your life, you’ll probably notice an increase in activity. As a teenager, the older we become the more complex our life becomes. As a result, after many months we find ourselves with lots of responsibilities and obligations. Those are then combined with family concerns (dad out of town). To adjust and compensate for the increased activity, our brain releases chemicals and before you know it, you feel weird, have difficulty concentrating, and feel different. Rather than thinking about others, you begin to think too much about your own feelings and actions.

While we all can see the stress related to a single event such as an automobile accident, death in the family, etc. — most stress is gradual and accumulates over many months. It’s like adding a new part-time job to our life every three weeks. After six months we’ve filled every hour of our life with work and responsiblilty — yet we’ve tried to adjust to the new schedule with each job.

If you review your level of responsibilities, I would imagine that while you’re doing well with them, they are beginning to wear you out. If this is true, you may want to reduce your obligations and responsibliities as well as develop stress-reduction plans. Keep in mind that even good, positive things may produce stress.