Reader’s Question

OK, here is a senario… There is a couple. The woman is 21 and the male, 46. This couple has been married for about two years and for about 1 1/2 years the female has wanted a child, but now the female has told her husband that she does not want a child anymore. Her husband thinks that there is some underlying factor in this choice, but the wife just keeps telling him that there is nothing wrong. The man has 5 children already and 5 grandkids. The couple has a good marraige and has never had any problems. What is your interpretation of this? Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

The key idea may be their “good marriage”. The 21 year-old wife may have made several decisions such as:

1. She can postpone her interest in having a child due to her young age,
2. She can enjoy her current life with the step-children and grandchildren,
3. She is satisfied with her current situation and has decided that having a child is not necessary for her to be happy, or
4. She has a variety of other reasons.

There probably is an “underlying factor” in her new position about children, but it’s not necessarily a bad factor or reason. Their good marriage makes it likely that she has positive reasons rather than negative reasons for her new position.