Reader’s Question

I live in South Carolina (US), and I’m 14 years old. I have certain motivation problems. I lead a very sheltered life because I have Hemophilia. Therefore my Mother and I are very close, and she finds it hard to scold me. I’m always getting compliments on my intelligence, and I watch a lot of educational shows and read articles online — although I have problems doing my schoolwork. Because I’m a hemophiliac I was taken out of public school.

Eight years ago my mother had a very bad car accident and suffers from minor brain damage and has seizures and therefore cannot drive; she has no husband. I don’t have a lot of discipline, and I find it very hard to focus on things (besides games and such). When I think about school I just get so afraid, so scared of my future.

I have no idea what I want to be and I’m almost a complete grade behind. My Mother doesn’t have enough money to pay for a psychologist. Please give me some advice on what to do. I just find it so hard to do anything important.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

In your home situation, maturity and motivation are going to be needed. With your mother’s injuries and no other parent present in the home, you and your mother will need to work as a team — not as mother and son or daughter. Your responsibility as a part of the team will be your home schooling. Also remember that your home schooling is not designed to make you a career or to help you decide what you will do in the future. Your school is designed to give you an excellent academic and experience foundation — providing you with the skills to use in a career of your choice. All careers require the ability to use language, write, spell, use math, etc. Don’t think of home schooling as deciding your career. Think of it as giving you a foundation for your adult career. Remember that in building, the better the foundation, the higher we can build.

Another issue you are probably facing is the stress of your lifestyle. Your mother may be experiencing a significant level of stress due to her injuries, her seizure disorder, and even the medications used for her conditions. Your homelife may be experiencing a moderate depression — a sense of everything been so difficult and so stressful. When this happens, everyone in the home loses motivation and interest. If this is the case, do a home schooling paper on Stress in the Home and how that changes people in the home. You’ll find that stress lowers motivation, interest, joy, humor and laughter, and all those things that make a homelife enjoyable. If home stress is a problem, research on the Internet ways to reduce stress in your life. You can also seek the advice of a trusted adult or family member.