Reader’s Question

My son has been involved in some internet websites called The Furries. In general, the people he converses with seem OK (I have conversed with some), but the whole “subculture” still seems odd and freakish to me. My son desperately wanted to attend a weekend Furry Convention where he would spend the weekend at a motel. I denied his request, and later found out a local teen (who I did not know) was going to spend the weekend with him at the hotel and the convention. The two main websites that he visits are monitored quite closely — especially for porn and sexual content and in fact, my son is a moderator. I’m hoping you might have some insight as to whether this subculture is indeed a danger to him, or whether he is just exploring his sexual identity.

Reagarding my son, he has suffered with depression from a young age, along with ADD. He has confided in me that he is confused about his sexual identity, but really does not want to talk more about it. I do have him in counseling, but so far, no one I have spoken to has any knowledge of this kind of group.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Q: “Furries” refers to a group of individuals who are interested in anthropomorphic animals. When we anthropomorphize something in the environment, we ascribe or project human characteristics on it such as speech, personality, emotions, motivations, etc. As fans of anthropomorphic animals, Furries imagine how animals might act, believe, appear, and feel if they had human characteristics.

Anthropomorphism makes up most of your child’s entertainment, the most beloved character being “Bugs Bunny” who walks, talks, has attitude problems, and a great sense of humor. Movies and cartoons contain talking cars, household appliances, animals, trees, etc. We anthropomorphize on a daily basis if we think about it, having a name for our automobile, yelling at the office copier, describing our computer as lazy, etc.

The Furries as a group tend to be youth with this special interest. These may also be youth who appreciate the option of being in a “group” that is outside the normal groups in their school, giving them special recognition or a special identity they can’t find in their current environment. Their activities include discussing the topic, the history, and concepts of anthropomorphic animals. At meetings they may dress up like animals. A percentage of the members may have sexual identity discussions or interests but as you’ve discovered, I doubt that it’s the major theme. Like many smaller youth groups or subcultures — especially online — it’s more about friends, talking to other youth, having a common interest/language, etc. This is not unusual and some Star Trek fans meet frequently to talk in Klingon (an alien language).

I doubt his interest in the group is dangerous. That doesn’t mean you ignore his interest however. As a parent, we must always be concerned about 1) who his friends are, 2) the influence of others, 3) the influence of the group on our son/daughter, 4) the presence of adult supervision, and 5) the extent to which our son/daughter changes their mood and behavior related to the group. If we think about it, in the US there are more examples of sexual misbehavior, vandalism, fist fights, underage drinking, and legal difficulties after a traditional weekend night football game than almost any other time. The problem isn’t the activity as much as those involved.

As you’ve described, if he continues his interest in Furries or anything else, as a parent you must feel safe about his participation. Discuss his level of participation, monitor for unusual or questionable activities, keep informed about what happens at meetings/conventions, encourage him to discuss the interest with his counselor, monitor for changes in his mood (more depressed, less depressed, etc.), talk to the members yourself, and remind him of the dangers of online activities/sharing information/meeting strangers.

Like many subcultures and interest groups, it may be serving a purpose for him at this stage in his maturity and development. Over time, he will probably outgrow or reduce his interest in this group as he establishes his individual identity and other interests.