Divorced, Lonely, and Tired — What Can I Do?
Reader’s Question
I divorced 2 years ago. I moved out from our country home with my daughter, who is a high functioning autistic person (APDD). She is 24 and has been working at retail for 6 years now. I didn’t manage to get much money from my husband because I was scared, and I am sure he is a psychopath. Our son lives with dad in our country home. My husband found via the internet a woman who is crazy about him. They have plans to live half the year in Poland, half the year in Canada. He will retire in 2 years and live off his pension. I have nothing and will have to work as long as I can, with no comfort.
Since he met this woman, he lost interest in our children, and I suffered the trauma of being completely alone. I can’t sleep. I am an immigrant and have no family here. I have been prescribed antidepressants, but I am afraid to take them. I considered doing neurotherapy. I am 55 years old and very tired. I often feel that it would be easier to die than to live.
Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply
From your description, you are experiencing a clinical depression. Divorce is the third most stressful event an adult can experience, and your recovery has been complicated by financial, relocation, children, and work issues. Severe fatigue, thoughts of death/dying, guilt, anger, crying spells, social withdrawal and loneliness, poor concentration, poor sleep/appetite, etc. are all common in depression.
Your physician has correctly recognized the depression and provided an antidepressant. While you describe being afraid to take them, you’re actually afraid of almost everything right now — afraid of the future, finances, being alone the rest of your life, etc. To recover from this sense of overwhelming depression and loneliness, you must first stabilize your situation and mood. I would recommend using the antidepressant medications. I would also consider therapy or counseling — both for your depression and your significant life changes. As your mood improves with treatment, you can gradually return to life and develop relationships with others.
