Reader’s Question

I recently went through a depression and decided to go into therapy. In this therapy, I discovered that I have some real difficulty remembering large chunks of time and events during those times. Also when trying to talk about some past traumas that I do remember, I experience what my therapist has said to be dissociation. I will feel like I am becoming smaller and smaller and further and further away from the room in which I am sitting. I feel like my presence in my body is at risk of disappearing, like I am getting sucked into a void. When this has happened I have not been able to get any further in the therapy as I just get really quiet and cannot really take in what the therapist is saying or what is happening. I just feel scared yet “numbed out.”

I am confused; when I look into dissociation on the internet, basically it is talking about really major issues like repeated and/or intense childhood sexual traumas or warlike situations. I do not relate at all to this kind of trauma. Could I be that unaware of traumas, or is dissociation common for mild trauma too? I do not dissociate outside of therapy unless it counts that I am able to compartmentalize my life and have the ability to completely forget about family stress when I am busily engaged in other activities.

It scares me to see myself react this way in therapy and I sometimes wonder if my imagination is getting the better of me. My therapist thinks I under-react, and I can see her point, but I worry that I might be over-reacting. Some information on this would be great, and your input would be appreciated.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Q: Dissociation is an unconscious and generally unanticipated situation in which there is an interruption in the normal connection between a person’s thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of personal identity. Some — but certainly not all — instances of dissociation involve periods of of amnesia. Although individuals who experience dissociative states of various types often have histories of significant abuse and/or trauma, other situations and stressors can and have triggered dissociative episodes.

Dissociation is generally regarded as a relatively primitive defense against emotional pain. Although it can be particularly effective in providing some measure of insulation against severe trauma in the short-term, it can be problematic in itself when over-utilized as a way of distancing oneself from emotional pain, and it can pose problems for individuals trying to learn how to cope with life’s stresses and work through the hardships of interpersonal relationships.

Some of the manifestations of dissociation (e.g., loss of time, loss of memory of events, feelings of depersonalization and loss of normal sense of self) can be distressing in and of themselves.

Uncovering and working through unresolved emotional conflicts is what therapy is generally all about. But sometimes, facing and re-experiencing even moderately stressful issues can kick in our defenses. Some of us are predisposed to the use of certain kinds of defenses. Although the sensations and experiences are distressing, they are not dangerous and should dissipate in time as feared situations are faced and resolved. Pacing is generally the key to facing the issues that must be faced, but in a manner that doesn’t unduly stress the client. Taking note of the kinds of stresses that appear to prompt dissociative reactions is a good way of helping determine which issues need the most attention.