Reader’s Question

I am a 16-year-old student, and I think I have a problem of a sexual nature. I have a “fetish” for women’s feet. I really enjoy the shape of a woman’s foot, especially the young and sexy ladies. The problem is that this leads me to feel humiliated and ashamed. I also get attracted to men’s feet, and that makes me even more unhappy and angry. I have an interest in breasts and legs, too, but only for women’s.

On one hand, I’d like to overcome this fetish, but on the other I have to admit that I enjoy it. Yet, I want to be a more normal person. I’d like to get help for this while I am still young. I am a very hardworking student whose main interests are chemistry and genetics. I have never been in a job where I have to deal with feet, and I don’t want my unusual attraction to be a problem.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

The situation you describe is not all that uncommon. As a point of clarification, however, the term “fetish” is a label used to describe when a person experiences sexual arousal to or derives sexual stimulation and satisfaction from an inanimate object such as rope, shoes, panties, etc. When a person is highly interested in certain body parts or experiences unusual sexual arousal to body parts, it is generally labeled “partialism.”

Unusual sexual interests and fetishes become problematic when an individual spends inordinate time contemplating, fantasizing about, planning, or engaging in the specific sexual behavior and it either causes great distress or interferes with the ability to function well occupationally, socially, or in a relationship. For example, a person with a “glove” fetish might not be able to derive sufficient sexual stimulation to achieve orgasm unless his partner is wearing gloves during sex. This can be problematic if the partner doesn’t wish to wear gloves all the time during sex or if the partner feels less desirable sexually than the gloves.

Similarly, being particularly attracted to certain body parts need not be inherently problematic, unless it interferes with your ability to have a healthy sexual or intimate relationship or causes emotional distress. Being highly attracted to various aspects of the human body need not necessarily be a cause for concern. But if you’re experiencing feelings of shame and humiliation, are troubled by thoughts, desires, fantasies, etc. that you feel you can’t control, and you are having trouble in your relationships, at school, at home, etc. because of these thoughts and desires, it’s probably time to seek help.

There are mental health professionals who specialize in issues related to sexual behavior. Counseling with such a professional can be a very worthwhile experience. It can be a vehicle by which you safely explore the aspects of your sexual inclinations that are causing you distress as well as helping you come to terms with your unique sexuality. It is important to verify whether the prospective counselor has specific training in the area of sexual behaviors.