Reader’s Question

This is a bit embarrassing and has me a little worried to say the least. That’s why I thought I’d write someone on the internet about it instead of talking to someone face-to-face and running the risk they might laugh at me.

Let me say a little about myself first. I am a healthy 21-year-old male. When I was younger, around age twelve or thirteen, I became fairly obsessed with a cartoon called Sailor Moon. I’m less attracted to the characters themselves than to the whole concept of “love” it seems that the cartoon embodies. For the last 9 years of my life I seem to have been obsessed with this cartoon. In fact it seems a lot more than a mere obsession. I can’t tell you the title of every episode or even all the main characters’ names. But something about it seems to have hold of my life.

At first when I started becoming obsessed with this cartoon, I thought that maybe it was because it was just a really good show. But the show is not that good at all. Then, I thought that maybe it was more of a “puberty” issue (I’ll spare you the fuzzy details). But I’m happily engaged now and living with my partner, yet still obsessed with the thought of living in the kind of world the cartoon depicts. You can see episodes of the cartoon on YouTube to get a flavor for what kind of world I’m talking about.

Okay, now for the part that really makes me wonder whether this is much more than a normal obsession. For some reason, I love to entertain the thought of being one of the girls in the cartoon. I like the thought of just being around those characters and/or to be one of them. Every time I watch the show, my biggest desire is to be a part of them somehow. I know this is all a bit strange but seeing as though it’s been going on for around 9 years now, I need some input.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Spending time in a fantasy world is not in itself that unusual. Over 15 million people regularly engage in various “fantasy” sports and invest considerable time and money doing so. Escape into fantasy can be a way to alleviate stress and to fulfill wishes that feel stymied in the “real” world.

Spending inordinate amounts of time in fantasy or letting the fantasy interfere with other aspects of living to any degree can be problematic, however, and can be symptomatic of a variety of conditions. For example, individuals who have attentional deficiencies can enjoy the bliss of being able to “focus” only when absorbed with an activity or daydreaming activity that has sufficient stimulation potential to hold their attention. Another possibility is that the fantasy affords the satisfaction of some pressing emotional need that a person hasn’t found other ways to satisfy. Still another possibility is that the person uses the vast amount of time and energy spent on the “obsession” as an unconscious mechanism to avoid facing other issues and concerns that are to potentially unnerving to address at a conscious level. In short, there are several possibilities. But it’s certainly not a given that your “obsession” is a sign of significant mental illness.

Although it might be embarrassing at first, it would probably be a good idea to share your concerns with a counselor. A trained professional can help you sort out the various possible reasons for your “obsession.” The fact that you have balked at this suggests that whatever the underlying issues are, you might have a fair degree of anxiety and apprehension about facing them. Nonetheless, a good counselor will not make fun of you or ridicule the manifestation of your concerns. She or he should set the stage for a trusting and intimate rapport that will allow you to sort through your feelings and come to a greater degree of understanding about yourself and the wishes you have that presently seem to be fulfilled only in your fantasy involvement with these cartoon characters.