Reader’s Question

I have a stepdaughter who might be depressed. She lives with her mother and stepfather. She has expressed interest in living with us, but her mother won’t let her.

Recently she sent her teacher a poem, and out of concern about its content, her teacher called us. Her teacher mentioned she had recently spoken to our stepdaughter and told her if she needed to talk, she could talk to her. When we asked our stepdaughter about the content of the poem she wrote, she downplayed its significance and said she wrote the poem to express her feelings about a beloved pet dying and that she herself did not have the emotions she expressed in the poem. My concern, however, is that the poem was a cry for help.

[Editor's Note: The poem itself was included with the originally submitted question but was omitted here for privacy reasons.]

What do you think we should make of this content? Do we need to take some sort of action? Do you think it a cry for help?

Thank you.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Depression often expresses itself differently for children and teens than it does for adults. Here are some things to look for:

• Change in appetite
• Change in sleep pattern
• Change in usual behavior pattern or routine
• Feelings of restlessness
• Thoughts about death and dying
• Easy irritability
• Confusion, difficulty making decisions, or trouble concentrating
• Unusually negative attitude
• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
• Social avoidance and isolation
• Feelings of sadness and/or periods of crying
• Change in academic performance or normal social involvements

The above list of adolescent depression symptoms is by no means exhaustive. It’s important that any signs of possible depression be taken seriously and that the affected person knows that help and support is available. The school teacher and especially the school counselor or psychologist can be a particularly valuable resource.

It’s also not uncommon for young persons to be ashamed of themselves for having difficulty coping and to be hesitant to acknowledge problems, even to parents (especially when family conflict might be a factor in the emotional underpinnings of their mood disturbance). So, make sure your stepdaughter knows what support is available to her.