Reader’s Question

I have read articles and posts about children who rock. But I haven’t found much about adults who rock.

Unless I am engaged in doing something, I rock. I do this everywhere. Ninety percent of the time, I do not even realize I have begun rocking until I catch someone who has observed me doing it.

I have rocked since I could sit up. I hold a Master’s degree in a mental health profession, and I am aware that I rock because of my anxiety and past trauma. It is a way to self-soothe. When I am engaged with clients I do not feel the urge to rock. But at most other times, I do.

What can I do or what steps can I take to decrease my rocking behavior?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

As a mental health professional, you are probably aware that this behavior persists because it is so reinforcing. You have “over-learned” that this behavior effectively relieves anxiety and soothes any troubling of your spirit. So, it’s an effective coping mechanism or response, albeit a socially awkward and potentially embarrassing one.

We generally don’t “extinguish” a behavior that’s become so powerfully reinforcing unless we can replace it with a better alternative. So, the task is not so much to stop rocking but to explore other, effective, self-soothing mechanisms. Even one not quite as effective as the rocking can become reinforcing if it also brings freedom from the undesirable (i.e., aversive) aspects of rocking.

There are numerous anxiety-reducing and strategies and methods available. One thing you might do to begin your search for better alternatives is to make a list of the benefits or desirable qualities the rocking behavior has always provided for you. You can then compare these to other strategies that have similar qualities. You can then embark on a program of substituting one of the newer strategies for your old pattern of rocking and reinforcing yourself for the effort. You also might benefit from working with another mental health professional who specializes in dealing with anxiety and the aftermath of trauma.