Reader’s Question

I am a teenager, and I have a small crush on a teacher at my school. This teacher is probably about 25 years my senior. Actually, I’ve never had this man as a teacher for any of my classes. I haven’t even spoken to him for that matter. I guess you could call it admiration from a distance.

I have been having sexual fantasies about this man. I know I would never even think of acting on them. Still, I would like to know if having such thoughts is normal — or should I be concerned?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Having sexual fantasies about someone you admire or think is attractive in some way is perfectly normal. And the fact that you recognize the potential problems associated with actually acting on such a fantasy in this particular situation and are certain that you would never do so, is actually a sign that you are healthier than some who might allow themselves to try and turn fantasy into reality. Repeatedly and deliberately engaging in fantasies that are less than appropriate can potentially lead to some problems — so, it’s a good idea not to do that. But merely having the kind of thoughts you describe is perfectly normal.