Reader’s Question

I’m a young woman from Morocco. I’m 23 and still a student. I saw a psychologist for almost two years. After a year, I began to feel better, but now I’m starting to feel lost again.

Everything was fine until my father got sick. I have two siblings who have stable marriages. My dad got gastric cancer, but the doctors didn’t know it from the beginning. I was staying with my parents and trying to be the “man” in the situation because my brother didn’t want to be involved. Although we needed money for the hospital, I couldn’t ask my sister because she had problems of her own. So, I left my studies, my house, and even my fiancé at the time and came back to take care of my parents.

I will never forget how hard and long those days were — not sleeping, worrying, and trying to care for them. I took care of all the banking and bills because my mum, who is educated, is still a simple person who had never done anything like that. Eventually, toward the end, my siblings came back home. Mum seemed to forget about me and all I had been through with them. She did her best to catch up with my brother, because she needed money. She didn’t seem to care anymore about what was happening with me, even on my wedding day. I wasn’t even able to have a normal wedding celebration.

Now, I just feel lonely. I also hate my brother. I’ve even started to think about suicide again. I’ll daydream, spend my whole day sleeping, or not sleep at all. I’ve come back from the world I was in to my own world, which is very black and feels very lonely. I feel like everyone is better than me, especially other girls.

I don’t know at all what to do, and I hope you can help. I’m afraid my life is falling apart and I’m even afraid I’ll lose my husband.

Thank you for your website.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Stress, significant loss, relationship problems, major re-adjustments, and financial worries are among the biggest factors that can precipitate a depression. Any one of those things can trigger a depressive episode, especially in a person with a history of depression. But when all those factors combine, it’s little wonder that your mental and emotional health might suffer.

Depression is the result of biochemical changes in the brain. It’s not a sign of personal weakness or inadequacy. You have indicated that when you were seeing a psychologist before, you had begun to feel better. Then, some major stress emerged on the scene. It would be a good idea for you to re-connect with your treatment provider. You did not mention whether your past treatment involved talk therapy, medications, or both. In any case, it’s a good idea to visit with someone who will evaluate your situation comprehensively and suggest a treatment regimen that will address all your needs.

Right now, you may feel you are in a “black,” lonely spot. But depression can be treated and life can once again seem worth living. Don’t delay in making that appointment.