Reader’s Question

I’m 16, and I feel like I am always confused about everything. I constantly feel like I can’t make my own decisions. I also feel like I think way too much about things, to the point of being very stressed out about it. I feel happy sometimes, so I don’t think it is depression, but when I do feel depressed it gets a little out of hand. I always feel paranoid about things, and it bothers other people when I’m like that. I also have trouble with worrying about what other people think about me, and it gets in the way of my everyday life. I don’t know what I should do about this. I don’t know if I should see a therapist, counselor, or a psychologist. Those might all be the same thing, but I don’t know what to do, and I’m asking for help on making that decision.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Your question is one that I hear friends of my teenagers voice frequently! The bad news is that it can be frustrating to deal with a lot of different issues all at the same time, especially when you factor in the role that hormones play in your feelings at this age. The good news is that what you are feeling is really pretty much the norm for being a 16-year-old in the year 2010! Feeling indecisive is of course not something that is unique to teens, but it certainly is much more difficult for some teens to make decisions, even seemingly minor ones. The best way to become more decisive is not so much by becoming impulsive in your decisions, but rather to make a decision with which you feel a degree of comfort, and then be at peace with the choice. Easier said than done? I know, but eventually you will feel more comfortable not only with making decisions, but also with being in your own skin. And for the most part, with greater comfort comes greater confidence.

Being a teen isn’t the easiest part of your life, but being a teen with resources can make the whole journey a lot less baffling. You seem to express that you experience some mild anxiety around certain issues, as well as finding yourself worrying. You ask if you would be well served to seek counseling. I say, why not? You may get some much needed clarity in particular areas that seem murky now. Having a sounding board from a third party can be a useful tool for anyone, be they 16 or 66!