Reader’s Question

About a year ago I moved from Texas to California so that I could be with my boyfriend all the time. I left a whole life in Texas behind me, sacrificing everything. At the time, I felt like moving was an ultimatum for the relationship. My boyfriend does not want to be in Texas or anywhere outside of California. He says there’s nothing there for him.

I’m 19, and my boyfriend and I have been dating since I was 16. I’ve doubted the relationship before. I know I’m young. And now since I’ve been visiting home, I miss it more and more. I want nothing more than to be back in Texas. I’m torn between staying in California or moving back. I feel like I’d be happier back home, especially if my boyfriend came with me, but I know it’s not something he wants to do. I yearn for all the things of home and for my family. I also feel like I’m missing out on experiences I should be having, although to be quite honest, I don’t know what those experiences are.

I don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend, but I almost can’t bear being away from home any longer. What should I do? I really try to be independent and not let him keep me away from the world, but it’s impossible to be independent when you’re tied down in a relationship. Am I too young? Am I risking my life experiences to be with him because it’s comfortable and what I feel like I want and need at the moment?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

You are asking yourself all the right questions, and, of course, you’re the only one who can answer them. Your intuition seems to be serving you well. You know you are young and you admit that you can’t even possibly know all you feel like you might be missing out on. Stay in touch with your heart. Search it fearlessly and honestly. The answers to your questions lie there.