Reader’s Question

My entire life, I have had uncontrollable, unorganized, messy bedrooms. Most of the time, I am unable to reach my bed because of the clutter piled up on the floor. The mess rarely makes it outside of my room, but sometimes it does. Around my bed is usually empty food and drink containers, sometimes left for months at a time. Numerous glasses/drink containers have mold and plates/food containers are sitting open. I sit here now, comfortable with my surroundings. I have always been messy, careless, and unorganized in my bedroom, but outside of these walls it has always been different. I have been known to help clean and organize different areas of the house, and I enjoy doing it. At work, my desk is neat and tidy, and I have many different organization methods. Why am I so comfortable living in these conditions, and how do I change my messy habits?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Why do you feel comfortable in such seemingly uncomfortable surroundings? Naturally, I would want to ask you why do you feel you are comfortable? Is there a kind of rebellion going on here? Are you depressed perhaps? What else is going on in your life? How old are you? Who do you live with?

When I was reading your question, I was reminded of the “typical teen age boy’s bedroom” scenario, where the teen has a bedroom which looks as if it were hit by a tornado, while the rest of the family home is tidy and clean. Unfortunately, you don’t mention how old you are, or your living arrangements, so I don’t know if that is the case. If you are still living at home, with one or both of your parents, maybe you are rebelling. But the molding plates of food make me concerned for your health. Since you mention that you are able to tidy up and clean other areas of your home/work/desk, I would invite you to give yourself a push and get cleaning in your bedroom. It is not OK to have moldy dishes next to your bed for months at a time! On a more self-serving practical note, when was the last time you entertained a guest in fortress of filth? Probably not too often… Could it be that you keep your room like this in order to ensure that no potential relationships will encroach on your terrain? And if that’s the case, why are you saying no to love? In the spirit of scientific discovery, let’s have you clean that room of yours, and then set a ball in motion that would get you socializing and even dating, rather than watching mold spores grow on your half-eaten ravioli. Good luck!