Reader’s Question

I am 16 years old. I’ve been with my boyfriend for one year, and we moved in together when we had been together five months. I dropped out of school. We have a really good relationship. We live with his parents and with one of his cousins, an arrangement which I hate. I really don’t get along with his parents: they don’t like me, and I don’t like them. My boyfriend doesn’t have a job. What can I do?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

The best solution to your problem is to go back to school! I know that the teen years are full of obstacles and challenges, but dropping out of high school is not the best thing that you or your boyfriend can do for your futures. I don’t know what your relationship is like with your parents, but if they allowed you to move in with your boyfriend’s parents, and drop out of school, chances are they are strained. If there is any way that you could patch things up with your parent(s) I would suggest you do that.

You don’t seem to be very happy right now, and the situation you are in must be extremely stressful. All of that stress is a lot for a 16-year-old. The demands of having a relationship, and living with your ersatz in-laws must be overwhelming. Also, you mention that your boyfriend does not have a job. High school drop-outs do not fare well economically in general. Statistics show that those who drop out of high school and stay out are more likely to be poor than any other group. Poverty is something that I am sure you would prefer not to experience for the rest of your life. If you care and love your boyfriend, encourage him to complete high school, even college. If you care and love yourself, please return. This decision will affect the rest of your life; please think twice about staying out of school.

As for what else you can do, you can start by patching things up with your family and encouraging yourself to go back to school, then contact your school and discover how you can arrange returning.