Reader’s Question

I’m a 26-year-old male, and I now know I have a problem.

About a year ago, I started becoming aware that I have difficulty remembering things that people tell me. I am married now, and because of this problem my wife gets really angry with me at times.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I get enough sleep. I do have some money stress, but so does she, and she remembers the kinds of things I forget with no problem. I eat right. I don’t drink or do drugs. Can you tell me what’s going on?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

A. Many clinicians refer to the kind of problems you report as “forgetfulness.” And forgetfulness can result from a variety of issues; the leading causes include:

• Sleep problems
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Substance use
• Normal aging
• Alzheimer’s Disease and other Dementias
• Attentional Deficits

You report leading a relatively healthy lifestyle, getting enough rest, etc., and you might be able to rule out many of the above outlined causes. It’s quite possible that the reason you can’t recall some of the things you wish is because they don’t get placed into memory in the first place. This is often associated with a lack of focus or concentration when the information is imparted. If our mind is busy with other things or there is a lot of “background clutter,” we sometimes only half-hear and poorly encode information others are trying to impart to us.

If you’re really concerned about this issue, it would probably be a good idea to visit with a mental health professional. Because there are so many possible explanations for what you’re experiencing, and because there are many ways you might get the help necessary to overcome the issues, it would likely benefit you greatly to have the situation evaluated.