Reader’s Question

I experience a really bad nervous association with or reaction to noises. Loud noises such as airplanes or dogs drive me insane. But small noises are a really big problem also, especially pen clicking, various popping noises, people snorting their nose, tapping, squeaky chairs, etc.

This has been going on for decades, and it has led to issues like acid reflux, bad stomach pain, etc. Sometimes my anxiety from such noises gets to the level where I feel I’m going to throw up. Lately it’s giving me problems at work because I have a hard time participating at meetings. Sometimes I just get up and leave the meeting because I am not able to be in a same room with other people. I develop intense stomach pains just knowing that I have a meeting coming up that day and will have to be around people. As such, I have avoided most human contact as much as possible for many years now.

I have tried psychologists before. But I have a negative reaction to them. I think they are more like lawyers and are only after the money and don’t really have any experience regarding why small noises can cause such a trauma. They keep saying (just like lawyers) that sure, they can help, but it takes only a session or two to sense that they have absolutely no connection with the subject matter. Most psychologists list their practice area as family counseling, substance abuse, marriage counseling, etc, etc. These are general areas, and it doesn’t help me find someone who may “specialize in noises” or would know anything about such issues.

So my question is, how can I find someone who would have any expertise in this area without dialing every number in the phone book? And how can I be sure they can really help me, as opposed to just giving themselves the opportunity to make some quick cash toward their new Lexus?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Aversion to particular situations and circumstances, including particular noises, is not actually that uncommon a problem. And some people have fairly irascible temperaments, causing them to become unnerved about things easily. You clearly state that the thought of someone making a profit while not doing enough to help you is also irritating, so perhaps the issues go a bit beyond intolerance of certain noises.

In any case, psychologists who practice with a behavioral or cognitive-behavioral orientation are more likely to use proven techniques to specifically target the issues of concern. A behaviorally-oriented therapist can instruct you in techniques designed to lessen the intensity of the undesirable responses and to strengthen the likelihood that you’ll engage in behavioral alternatives to merely avoiding human contact. A cognitive-behavioral therapist will help you additionally target the things you automatically say to yourself during the day that make it more likely you’ll experience distress.

But before you get the help you need, you might first need to overcome your discomfort with the fact that mental health professionals — like all professionals — charge a fee for their services. Hopefully, when you connect with a professional with the best philosophical orientation to suit your problem, you’ll find the help you receive to be well worth the price.