Reader’s Question

I’m 17, and I’ve recently come to accept that certain things about me could easily be considered strange.

I used to think I was just a perfectionist because I needed everything in a project or anything to be exactly right. But I soon realized that if there was something even slightly off (like some line slightly crooked), I couldn’t leave it until I felt it was better. I’ve never really been satisfied with anything I do. Even when I try reading a non-fiction book just for fun, I end up putting it down because I feel like I have to memorize every single mundane detail. For tests I have to memorize every definition close to exactly before I can move on. And when I can’t memorize them I have a habit of ‘punishing’ myself to remember, like hitting, slapping or biting myself.

I have some other habits like popping my wrists, my neck, and fingers. It’s not just a bad habit. It’s like I’m compelled to do it or I just don’t feel ‘right’. When I’m watching movies, or even chatting with someone, sometimes I’ll pause it or stop to repeat something that was said or written over and over again. If I can’t remember a word, it drives me insane, and I have to force myself to forget about it.

I think it’s no wonder that I get stress headaches all the time, but I’ve never gotten any professional opinion about these things, so I don’t really know what’s going on or if it’s some kind of disorder. So I’d really appreciate it if you could shed some light on this.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

What you describe has all the earmarks of obsessive-compulsive behavior. An obsession is an intrusive or unwanted kind of thinking that you can’t shake. A compulsion is feeling like you have to engage in some kind of behavior, and you just don’t feel okay or you experience anxiety if you don’t engage in it. Sometimes people have obsessive-compulsive traits in their personality. Other times, people can actually suffer from a type of disorder called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It would be a good idea to visit with a mental health professional and get an assessment. These days there are several medical and non-medical treatments that can help a person troubled by obsessions and compulsions to find peace of mind.