Reader’s Question

I am a 15-year-old male. I’ve just been thinking about some things I do and decided to ask somebody who knows about such things whether I have a problem or not.

Sometimes, I sort of scrape my index finger along the edge of something like a desk, and then I feel as if I must scrape my other index finger along the same spot of the desk in the same manner. I recognize that this is completely dumb, but I have to actively force myself NOT to do it. I also place quirky demands on myself like “You have to get across this block of sidewalk in 2 steps or less, and you can’t step on the spot dividing 2 sidewalk blocks.” If I’m at a place with colored tiles, I have to step on a certain color of tile. I also have some disturbing sexual thoughts regarding my sister, which I do not like at all. I tend to fidget when I sit still; I can’t really sit still, always needing to adjust something. I can’t seem to really talk to people face-to-face — I get really nervous, especially if it’s a one on one conversation. I dislike answering questions. I get really lonely sometimes too, then get saddened by the fact that I can’t seem to do much about that since I can’t talk to people really. My parents don’t ignore me, so it can’t be that; I get enough attention from them. I realize some of this may be attributed to something like hormones/being a teenager or whatnot. But I figured I may as well ask someone. I hope you can help explain.

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

What you report sounds a lot like possible problems with obsessions and compulsions (especially compulsions) as well as some anxiety. Obsessions are unwanted thoughts that won’t go away, and compulsions are acts you might regard as illogical but nonetheless feel compelled to do in order to avoid feeling anxious. And sometimes feelings of unhappiness and even depression can accompany such difficulties. But because it’s not really possible to assess your situation from such a distance, it’s important that you share your concerns with those who love you and get a professional’s opinion about your difficulties and the best ways to deal with them.