Reader’s Question

I’m concerned about my sister. She is living with a man who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder while he was in the Navy about 5 years ago. He doesn’t take any medication and used to do drugs, which is why he is no longer in the Navy. Now, he is drinking between 15 and 20 beers a day.

This man insults my sister constantly. He yells at her, tells her that she’s fat, ugly, useless, and that nobody will ever want her again, etc. He recently threw her out of the house even though she is 8 months pregnant with his child. She came to stay with me for 4 days before he convinced her to go back to him. He then claimed he never told her to leave, even though I heard him say it.

This man will send ridiculous, insulting, and hurtful text messages to my sister and then minutes later be asking her for a ride to the store, like nothing ever happened. I’m concerned for her and the baby’s safety because he is so erratic. Their present plan is for him to watch the baby when she returns to work. Please Help!

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Ultimately, your sister is the one who will need to set some firm limits. As unstable and unpredictable as her husband appears to be (whether it be primarily due to Bipolar Disorder, a character disorder, substance misuse or a combination of all three), it’s imperative that someone act responsibly to ensure the safety of the child. Encourage your sister to seek counseling to acquire the tools she needs to make better decisions and empower herself.