Reader’s Question

I’m asking this question online because I know my friends will dismiss its importance, and I feel silly going to a doctor. So whatever advice you give me would be appreciated — thanks!

I’m 22 years old, and believe I may be suffering from anxiety. My entire life I have gotten scared of things that could happen, and these fears typically occur at night before I go to sleep. They typically keep me from falling asleep because I’m too busy worrying, and they will typically last a while (weeks). It’s like I go through phases with the fears.

I remember when I was about 6 and watched the film Jurassic Park for the first time. I kept a glass of water beside my bed for weeks, watching it to see if it might move like it did on the movie. In my teenage years I became paranoid that my mom would die when I wasn’t at home, so whenever I would stay at the homes of friends I would silently panic if I heard the fire siren go off and would often look out the window in the direction of my house to see if there was smoke. I would also stay awake for a couple of hours in case someone tried to call the house to find me, etc.

Now, at 22, my paranoia has extended into the daytime. Whenever I hear the phone ring, I hope it’s not for me. I slightly panic whenever I have missed a phone call from a number I don’t know, or if I get messages from people wanting me to ring them back. Often I will look the number up, and see if it’s connected to hospitals or police stations. Whenever I hear that my brother or father has tried to get in touch with me, I will send my mom a text straight away with some question for her to answer, and I don’t rest until I get a reply.

My nighttime fears have also increased, and I purposely keep myself awake for hours at night until I am so tired that I fall asleep straight away. I do this so that I can keep myself distracted and not think about my fears. I’m beginning to find, however, that these fears have extended into daytime, so I often have moments in the day when I can’t stop thinking about my fear.

All this sounds extreme even to me, and I feel like it should be easy for me to stop all this worry, but I can’t. It’s that cliché of when you’re not supposed to think about something, you can’t help but think about it.

Two years ago I went to a doctor with what I thought were genuine heart palpitations but was told I was just stressed and having anxiety. She didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal at the time, so what I really want to know is: do you think I should actually properly see someone about this? Or do you have any tips on reducing this worry I feel all the time?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

We have a great deal of information about anxiety and treatments for anxiety available on the site. Fortunately, anxiety disorders are among the most readily and effectively treated conditions. And it’s understandable that you might be hesitant to seek professional help if it appeared to you that the last professional you saw dismissed your symptoms as inconsequential.

Sometimes anxiety symptoms revolve fairly heavily around a common theme. And from what you report, your symptoms appear to be laden with themes about functioning autonomously and relinquishing control. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of intervention that helps you address and change the automatic responses as well as the patterns of thinking (e.g., patterns of self-talk, interpretations of events, etc.) you might habitually engage in that perpetuate anxiety. Ironically, using the methods not only results in a diminishing of symptoms, but also increases one’s ability to function autonomously and without fear of loss of control.

Sometimes CBT is used in combination with other therapies, including medication. Visiting with a professional who specializes in anxiety management techniques can put you on the road to comprehensive care and symptomatic relief.