Reader’s Question

I am a 27-year-old man and for the last year I’ve been really depressed about a lot of things. I’m unhappy with my home life. I often break down into tears thinking about the future and dying alone. (I’ve been single for 5 years now.) I wanted to have kids by the time I was in my early thirties, and thinking about not having kids at all makes me really sad. The thing I used to enjoy doing the most (playing my guitar) I have little to no interest in doing anymore.

I constantly think of death, and it freaks me out because I know that’s not me. I wouldn’t say I’m actually suicidal, but the thoughts have come to my head before and I have to push them away. I know I could never do that, but I constantly feel guilty for things I did in the past and often feel like I’m being punished by God or some other spiritual being (I guess you could call it Karma). Does this sound like depression or maybe just too much stress?

Our Clinical Psychologist’s Reply

Dr. Aaron Beck was among the first to outline what he termed the “cognitive triad” of negative thinking that often accompanies depression. The three components of the triad include one’s view of the world, oneself, and the future. People who are depressed tend to view the things around them negatively, evaluate themselves as unworthy and flawed, and view the future with caution and pessimism.

You also report some of the most frequently reported symptoms known to accompany depression. And your question about whether your problems are due to depression or stress sets up a false dichotomy because of the role stress plays in the fostering of depression and vice-versa.

Based on the things you report, it would most likely be in your best interest to consult with a mental health professional for comprehensive evaluation. Sometimes depression can be complicated or exacerbated by other psychological issues. So, it’s a good idea to be evaluated by someone who adopts a more holistic approach to helping not only with overcoming the symptoms of depression but also with restoring and improving your overall quality of life.