Honor-Student Daughter Becoming Painful to Live With

Reader’s Question

My 17-year-old daughter’s health has been deteriorating. Blood tests revealed her iron level was at 4.7, and she was put on supplements. Her red count was OK though. Her period was very irregular and severe. She has battled with PMS for the last two years. Now though she is experiencing severe mood swings thoughout the month and her gynocologist perscribed oral contraceptives to balance her hormones. It is the second month on the pill but she continues to have extreme mood swings and her personality has changed due to it. Add to the mix that she keeps getting sick (virus) and now needs to use asthma pumps with steroids. She is in bad shape having gone from being a very strong athlete, honor student etc. to just being a painful person to deal with. What should be isolated here as the problem? Hope you can help . Thanks. (Even her vocabulary is awful: she screams, calls names, swears, and says hateful insults.) How she treats people is just embarrassing for all involved.

Psychologist’s Reply

Based on the PMS battle for two years, extreme mood swings, behavior/personality change, etc. — I sense your daughter is moving into a depression. Early stages of depression are agitation, irritability, emotional explosiveness, personality change, loss of humor, change in sleep/appetite, loss of motivation, etc. Moderate to severe depression makes people take everything around them in a highly personal manner. She will be offended that you are watching her television program. She will also have crying spells, near-panic attacks, and have periods of time when she is irrational.

One way to think of this situation is a pressure cooker. The amount of steam that escapes through the valve tells us how much pressure is building inside. Your daughter’s “steam” is her vocabulary, screaming, name-calling, etc. She is walking around like a pressure cooker — ready to blow if you look sideways at her. Everyone around her will be walking on eggshells — afraid to say something that will make her explode. This internal emotional pressure must be reduced to allow her personality and mood to return to normal.

I would first read articles on depression on this website. I also have an article on depression on my website at www.drjoecarver.com. When you review the symptoms, I think you’ll see someone you recognize. Then consult with the GYN and consider using an antidepressant. Depression and PMS are related to both hormone and Serotonin levels in the brain. The use of steroids can also make one irritable. Bottom line: the wide mood swings and behavioral problems are most likely related to depression and can be treated.

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