I Think My Mom and Stepdad are Insane. What Do I Do?

Reader’s Question

I and other family members honestly think that my mother is insane. I also think that my stepdad is the same way. My brother has already received psychiatric help for his anger issues. He’s had them almost his whole life. I thought he was improving, until my mom got worse and started driving me insane. He got worse right along with me. I am a very bright girl; I know I need help but I don’t know how to tell her, because I have no idea how she will react. I think all four of us need to get help. I am 16, and my brother is 17; we are almost out of the house but I don’t know how much more I can take of this insanity. How can I get her to get help for us?

Psychologist’s Reply

You don’t offer any behaviors or symptoms to review, so I can’t really identify the “insane” nature of your mother’s or stepdad’s symptoms. However, it’s clear from your description that the home environment is “insane” — highly stressful, loud, confusing, chaotic, and disorganized. So far, you and your brother have been coping by staying out of the house as much as possible. That’s a pretty common approach for teens when their parents are stressed-out.

The first thing you need to do is to survive yourself. The insanity between your mother and stepdad is likely to continue for some time. You need to recognize that it’s not related to you although you must deal with it in some manner. It’s like being in a thunderstorm — the storm is not after you personally but you need to learn to protect yourself from it.

Seek the support/counseling of trusted adults. These may be relatives, teachers, etc. Watch yourself for signs of depression or anxiety such as sleep problems, crying spells, weight loss, grades dropping, etc. You might consider asking your mother to arrange counseling for you. This is often helpful as it not only provides counseling support for you, but it makes the idea of counseling and mental health support more acceptable to your mother and stepdad.

To assist your mother, remember that depression has a lot of physical misery with it such as poor appetite, insomnia, physical aches and pains, etc. Advise your mother to seek medical consultation. Physicians are now trained to consider mental health concerns as part of their treatment and evaluation of a patient. The physician may be helpful in arranging help for your mother.

Your goal is to successfully survive the insanity of your home life. Focus on your goals for your adult life and keep on track. You may also find the counselors in the school system can be helpful.

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