I find myself in a horrible situation, and I do not know what to do. As I am sure you know, being a student isn’t easy. My days consist of a lot of stress. I stress about school work, and I stress about not being able to pay rent or afford food.
I am at a point in my life where I see no reason to carry on. Even though I am a psychology student at the top of my class, I feel rather sad. I am studying in a different country from where I grew up, so I only see my family and friends during holidays. And my boyfriend also lives in a different country. I love him with all my heart, but I never see him, and I can’t afford to call him. The loneliness and stress is getting to me.
I cannot get a job where I live, as I am not a citizen of this country. However, I have been starting to do bad things for people on webcam for money. By bad things I mean erotic things like being naked and doing whatever they tell me to do. I don’t feel good about it — I actually I hate it — but it pays the rent.
I have recently been made an offer from a couple I have been on webcam for. They wanted to pay me a lot of money — more than my psychology degree will cost me — if I would not only have sex with them, but be their sex slave for two days. They said that their purpose is to hurt me, and not to have sex with me. They wanted to tie me up, and more [graphic details omitted]. For all this to happen, I would have to fly 14 hours away from where I live. Just considering this makes me feel worthless. I would never see myself doing this. I have always been the good one. I’ve never been promiscuous, never been drinking or taking drugs, and most people see me as a sweetheart.
I am aware that if I go through with this offer, it could go terribly wrong, and I could end up dead. But then again, I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore and that I’m just a burden on my family’s and friend’s lives when I keep asking to barrow money. What I would like to know, is if there is any way that I could go through with this and still be OK mentally? Would I be able to erase it from my memory and move on? Because just considering this has made lose track of time, not being able to sleep or study. Help me please.
Should you travel 14 hours to be a sex slave? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Your Webcam activities have desensitized you to the point that you are not discriminating between safe yet demoralizing and extremely dangerous sexual activity. This couple (if it actually is a couple) is not offering you a “business proposition”. They may be trying to talk you into traveling to another country to sadistically abuse you and eventually send you into the sex trade slave market or even kill you. You are totally ignoring the fact that they are criminals — not people interested in unusual sexual activity.
They have no intention of paying you anything and once in their custody may actually make you perform sexual activities for customers to pay for the money they spent on your airfare — although they have no intention of letting you leave anyway…they’re just giving you hope. If we think in real terms, if they had that much money they could easily hire a prostitute in their own area, but they won’t — because this isn’t about being a “sex slave”.
This is a thousand-year-old scam. Here’s how it works:
- You manipulate a young adult or teenager into leaving their country, which terminates their legal rights. By crossing international borders for sexual purposes, they are violating international laws regarding sexual slavery. That’s a major crime in almost all civilized countries. Such a major crime is called a felony in the US.
- Once in their custody, they restrain you, which is legally considered kidnapping — another felony (a felony #1 in the US can mean 20+ years in prison).
- They then begin sexually torturing you (another felony) or raping you (each count is another felony #1 in the US).
- They physically injure you — perforating your bowel, abdomen, etc. (depending what a customer wants to do) but can’t take you to a hospital for treatment, as that would alert the legal authorities. They may lock you in a basement and let you slowly bleed to death or just kill you at this point, rather than risk discovery by the police.
- They can’t let you return home, as they have committed multiple criminal acts and can’t afford to let you leave — you might report them.
- They now have no choice but to sell you into sexual slavery with the understanding that those customers will eventually kill you…or kill you themselves. They can’t have an eye-witness to their crimes return home. This is why the vast majority of “missing persons” are found dead. Murdered witnesses don’t talk. Searches for missing college students typically involve the area around the college/university — not 14 hours away.
- This is one way teenagers and young adults become missing persons and are never heard from again.
While you are having a difficult time in college, at least you are safe. Like most college students, you are extremely stressed and lonely without your family and boyfriend. In years to come, you’ll remember these years as tough times…but you’ll be around to remember them. As a college student, many sell blood for rent and eat spaghetti for weeks at a time…but they obtain their psychology degree. A psychologist friend of mine slept on a floor for four years when he couldn’t afford a bed in graduate school. I worked in a grocery store.
You are already engaging in activities that are lowering your self-esteem. Go no further. Instead, try to normalize your life. Importantly, the stress is impairing your judgment. Some suggestions:
- You are showing signs of moderate to severe depression. Consult with a physician or university clinic for possible antidepressants and a therapist/counselor.
- For the holidays, ask your boyfriend or family to buy a webcam. You can use a web service like Skype to make free or very inexpensive video phone calls through your internet line. I see my family members all over the US every week in this way.
- Keep borrowing money from family and friends. They actually expect it: you’re a college student. Try to find a job at the university as that will often help pay for college expenses. University jobs are often exempt from citizenship requirements. You can repay family and friend loans when you begin your career.
- Gradually substitute normal life activities such as a job or school assignments for your webcam activities. You need to return to normal. The sexual things you have done on the webcam have already damaged your self-concept and self-esteem. You may need counseling/therapy to repair those issues.
- Find sources of support at the university such as clubs, psychology organizations, etc.
Focus on the fact that you’re going to be a psychologist — not a sexual slave. Protecting yourself and your self-esteem is protecting your future and career.
Above all, never leave the university for promises of money, adventure, or even sexual excitement. While the university is a relatively calm and understanding place, the real world contains sexual and criminal predators — and worse, they have found you! Don’t exchange email, change your email address, and protect yourself. These people have no intention of paying you anything…only using you, abusing you, and eventually killing you to protect themselves from criminal charges. It can be a scary world outside the university.
This is your first real-life psychology lesson. To get an A+, you’ll need to understand criminal manipulation, danger, and self-protection. This lesson is only pass-fail…and the failure is permanent.
Please protect yourself and do nothing other than what I’ve suggested. Years from now you can tell your students or patients about the time you almost made a decision that could or would have cost your life.
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All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. Originally published by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on .on and last reviewed or updated by