I Don’t Do Drugs All the Time, So I’m Not an Addict, Right?

Reader’s Question

I’m a twenty-year-old male, and I have a problem. Every time I get a paycheck or have a decent amount of money I immediately start to do drugs and lie to my family. I don’t always behave like that. I only do it when I’m alone and I have any cash in my pocket. Is there anything I can do to control this? Besides this strange behavior, I think I’m a normal person most of the time. I don’t consider myself an addict either, because I only do this once or twice a week.

Psychologist’s Reply

It’s an all too common scenario that persons struggling with an addiction or addictive tendencies can offer all sorts of rationalizations for why they don’t think they’re addicted. They may say that the fact that they don’t get high all the time means they are not addicted. They may also say that the fact that they’ve refrained from time to time necessarily means they can quit at will and are therefore not addicted. In short, they can come up with a number of reasons by which they can delude not only others but also themselves.

Addictive behavior can have both physiological as well as psychological roots. Physical addiction occurs when a person has built such a tolerance to their substances of choice that it takes more and more of the substances to achieve the desired effect, and they experience the pangs of withdrawal when they don’t have the substances. Psychological components of addiction have to do with the desire to maintain the emotional and mental state people experience under the influence. Sometimes this desire is so strong that people are willing to sacrifice their money, their careers, their families, etc. merely to experience that state, even if only for a few moments at a time. Indeed, researchers have demonstrated with clarity lately that all addictions are at heart chemical addictions. This means that people engage in their various addictive behaviors in order to activate the chemicals in their brains (primarily the endorphins and secondarily the enkephalins) responsible for making them “feel good.” People often use drugs to accomplish these ends, but other addictive behaviors can also activate these brain chemicals.

There are those who subscribe to the philosophy that because it feels too good to engage in addictive behavior, a person won’t stop using or overcome their “denial” about what is really happening until they experience disaster or “hit bottom” physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Others argue that once a person understands the nature of addiction, they can learn how to feel good in the absence of their usual substances of choice. Almost everyone agrees, however, that before a problem can be faced and dealt with, it has to be admitted.

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Certainly we can’t know enough about your situation to make an accurate assessment, but even you acknowledge that there is a problem. What you seem hesitant to acknowledge is that you seem to have become willing to sacrifice your money (and necessarily your financial well-being) and at least some aspects of your relationship with your family (by lying to them repeatedly) in order to experience the state you achieve when you use drugs. This is a very significant red flag and you would be wise to seek out appropriate substance abuse counseling. Experienced substance abuse counselors are often also trained to attend to the other aspects of a person’s psychological makeup and circumstances that contribute to the difficulties they might have leading a substance-free lifestyle. Although some people still feel a sense of “stigma” at the thought of acknowledging their problems, many programs offer the support of others who have been through the same ordeals, and this support can help a person feel less stigmatized by their plight.

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