How Do I Know What’s “Normal” for My Child?

Reader’s Question

I have an 8-year-old son who is in the third grade. He has always been a very high energy kid, although he has never excelled at sports. He would much rather research historic facts than anything else. Last year he developed a fascination with Presidents and history. He could answer any question or tell you any detail relating to the Presidents or their history. He lived, slept and ate Presidents. This year he has developed a fascination with the Beatles. This is all he thinks about, all he researches, all he talks about. He will be “just like Ringo Starr one day”. I am very concerned about him. At first it was wonderful how interested he was in history and to think how smart he is. Now that the Beatles mania is here with him (this mania started before the Beatles came back into the spotlight) I feel like he gets fascinated by things a little too much. He is now writing his own songs and has notebooks filled with music he has written (which are all about history by the way). He has also developed a tic or two. He licks the inside of his wrists and then he sometimes repeats what he just said in a low whisper (but enough to let you know he repeated it). His friends started asking why he repeats everything, and he asked me.

I don’t know what to do with him or where even to begin. He has low concentration for anything except for the odd things that seems to fascinate him. He loves to look up assassinations and deaths and how these people, who got assassinated, lived their lives. Sometimes when we drive by a house that says circa 1700 (for example) and has a name under it like John Smith, he will go home and look up John Smith in that year and be able to tell you everything about him.

Where or what do you suggest I start with him? I have to literally do his homework, practically hovering over him to think clearly. He is so smart in so many ways that his teachers couldn’t think that he wasn’t processing information in a “normal” way. He was reading in Kindergarten and now reads my college history books. But there is something definitely different about him, and I can’t figure it out.

Please help me figure out if his behaviors are “normal” or if I should indeed have him checked for some kind of condition.

Psychologist’s Reply

Talk to a Psychiatrist or Therapist Online
(Please read our important explanation below.)

We now know that the “spectrum” of childhood developmental conditions is far more broad than we once thought. And children can have some fairly unique traits that influence their strengths and weakness. Whereas many times we search for the “one answer” that will shed some light on things, we’ve discovered that more often than not multiple factors and conditions are at play in our children’s lives. Some of the things you describe sound very much like a child who has trouble concentrating except for when hyper-focusing on something that sufficiently stimulates him. But other things you describe suggest that other conditions, possibly developmental in nature, might be present.

You would likely do well to have your child thoroughly evaluated. A clinic associated with a research hospital or institute specializing in childhood development issues would be a good choice to start. Don’t be surprised if some things turn out perfectly “normal.” And don’t be surprised either if more than one condition or turns out to be an issue.

All children are unique, possessing various remarkable talents and aptitudes as well as various limiting factors and disabilities. Not too long ago, we expected all children, regardless of their strengths or limitations, to prosper in the same environment. These days, we not only have more awareness about children’s developmental issues, but we also have different teaching strategies, interventions, medicines, etc. available to help each child realize his or her fullest potential.

Please read our Important Disclaimer.

All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. Originally published by on and last reviewed or updated by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on .

Ask the Psychologist provides direct access to qualified clinical psychologists ready to answer your questions. It is overseen by the same international advisory board of distinguished academic faculty and mental health professionals — with decades of clinical and research experience in the US, UK and Europe — that delivers CounsellingResource.com, providing peer-reviewed mental health information you can trust. Our material is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with a qualified mental health professional. CounsellingResource.com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation.

Copyright © 2024.