The ‘Meaning’ of Dreams About Sex

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Reader’s Question

I’m a 16-year-old studying in Kuwait. I’m Indian by nationality. I’ve been having dreams in which a man, whom I don’t know nor recognize, has been forcing me to get into physical relations with him. In the dream, I don’t want to be sexual with this person. Why is it that I get these kind of dreams constantly? Is something like this really going to happen? Why am I having such dreams?

Psychologist’s Reply

Dreams and dreaming have undoubtedly fascinated humans since the beginning of time. There are certain dreams that seem to be universal: being chased, having the ability to fly, screaming silently, falling from a high place and waking just as we would be hitting the ground. Some cultures believe that dreams are a way of seeing into the future. Others believe that dreams are an expression of things that we really want, rather than what we are “allowed” to want in society. Still other cultures acknowledge dreams as a way for the brain to sort our impressions and events of the day in an effort to categorize the impressions for storing to long term memory.
Sexual dreams are very common, especially dreams that portray us as sexually engaged with people with whom we would otherwise never consider being intimate.

You are at an age now where your hormones are very active. You may feel sexually aroused in places and with people which seem to be inappropriate. Your physical self may desire sexual activity, while your mind is telling you it is not a good idea. By working through this conflict of wanting to be sexual on the one hand, and wanting to remain sexually inactive on the other hand in your dreams, you are in a sense fulfilling the desires of both of these conflicting scenarios in a safe arena, the comfort of your dream life. So you can relax: these dreams do not have to be premonitions or harbingers of things to come. Try your best to accept that you are working out internal conflicts and desires in your dream life. Try to see your dream life as a wonderful stage in which your fantasies, hopes, fears, and memories have an arena in which to express themselves. Good luck and have sweet dreams!

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