Now I’m Pregnant, Will Loathsome Con Artist ‘Man Up’?

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Reader’s Question

Almost all of my life, for about 22 years (I am 39 now), no matter where I moved across the country I always thought about this guy I met when I was 16. Chemistry, or whatever, just took me over, and no matter if I was in Miami , Atlanta or New York, I couldn’t shake thinking of him. The whole time I wondered how he was and what he has done with his life. I came 2200 miles to Illinois from Phoenix Arizona to meet with him. I discovered that he was not the man I believed him to be. I found him, still in his tiny town of 1200, with 9 felonies, and a well loathed reputation as a con artist! He told me his mother and family knew I was coming. When I arrived, fresh off the plane with my cat and belongings, they knew nothing about me!

Now, I am pregnant, and I had to take two tests in an effort to convince him that I was indeed pregnant. One test was taken with him sitting right next to me. He accused me of tampering with it! Then I took a blood test to prove to him that I was really pregnant, he said I made up the whole story on the internet! Denial at every turn! Why can’t he accept that I am pregnant with his baby and take responsibility? What’s going on?? I am taking one of his family members with me to a doctor’s appointment. Then who knows what will come of it? Very weird!

Psychologist’s Reply

This situation sounds frustrating, stressful, and disappointing. You mention that you are pregnant, and I am assuming that this pregnancy is the result of intercourse with this “con artist”. Since you describe him as a “loathsome con artist,” I believe that he will behave as a con artist would behave in most cases around this situation: he will shake off responsibility and take flight. Con artists seem to have one common trait with each other, and that is they only do things that will serve themselves; if you are served in the process too, that’s fine, but don’t expect anything else. This guy seems like a self-centered person, and the 9 felonies (since you didn’t mention what the felonies are) give enough reason for you to think twice — no, three times — about staying anywhere near this person. If you have a fantasy of this guy waking up tomorrow and telling you he wants to work a 9-5 job, live in house with a white picket fence, and be a responsible guy…that probably isn’t part of his agenda, although I could be wrong. What I suggest you do is to keep it always at the front of your mind that this man is what he is, and try not to expect anything other than what he is able to deliver. You may have to see the inside of a courthouse in order to receive child support, but maybe he will “man up” and do the right thing. Maybe. I wish you the best of luck.

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