Since Getting Pregnant, I Have No Tolerance for My Stepson

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Reader’s Question

I’ve recently had a baby. Ever since I got pregnant, I’ve had no tolerance for my 4-year-old stepson. He’s been doing the typical stuff for a boy his age. Generally, I love kids. But when he brings his toys in the living room, it annoys me to the point that somedays I will tell him to stay in his room. Like most 4-year-olds, he talks back sometimes or needs pull-ups, but I’m afraid I’ll lose my temper.

Is there some kind of medication I can take? I’m really not the talking kind, and so counseling doesn’t appeal to me. Whenever I get into a personal conversation it becomes too emotional.

Psychologist’s Reply

You mention that difficulties arose since the time you became pregnant. So, there is a possibility that hormonal changes or other biochemical imbalances, especially the kinds of changes that most often accompany Depression, might be at play in your situation, decreasing your frustration tolerance and increasing your irritability. It’s also possible that having a child of your own has raised issues not fully conscious to you about your relationship with a child not biologically your own.

Although you might not be the talking kind, the fact that emotions appear to pour forth whenever you become intimately engaged suggests that there are some issues that need to be talked through. If biochemical issues are also a factor, although you might get some relief from medication alone, it’s generally advisable to make medical treatment part of a more comprehensive treatment approach. So, it would be best to visit with a mental health professional who can make a thorough assessment and provide the comprehensive care you need.

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