Afraid of the Dark, Trouble Sleeping, Nervous and Fearful of Everything

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Reader’s Question

I am a 22-year-old female, and I’m always nervous and fearful about everything around me. Car horns scare me. I jump every time someone calls me, and I’m always on my toes as if waiting for something to happen. I always worry in my mind what if this or that happens? I especially fear death and it haunts me everyday. It gets hard to live with death ideas on my mind all the time, especially at night. I am afraid of falling asleep, so I usually don’t sleep until dawn breaks. I think that to me the dark symbolizes death, so I can’t sleep in the dark or at night even if lights are on. This is affecting my daily life and my activities.

I also panic over the smallest problems and have no confidence in solving them. I cry often and feel down every single day. I do not have self-esteem and look down to my self and see others as better than I am in everything, and so I feel guilty because I blame myself for not having any achievements in life (although I have health, money, and family). It’s like I’m not thankful for what I have. But with all my wishes to change and to work harder, I do not have the willpower to make any slightest change in my life. If I decide to workout every day, for example, I stop after the third day and then I hate myself for being such a loser and a weakling. I don’t usually show my weaknesses to others, so I laugh and act tough in front of others.

When I was 16 years old, I had very serious fears to the point that my blood pressure used to go down dangerously. I used to get shivers and cry uncontrollably. I got hallucinations and OCD, too. However, If you would ask me what were you afraid of I would say I don’t know. It was as if something was watching me and I had to do everything perfectly or else I would be judged at night. When I was in my room I would always watch the door as if waiting for something to come. That year was hard, but with my parents’ help I was able to sleep again and get over the OCD, yet I did not seek medical help. However, since that day I still fear the dark and cannot stay alone at home. Also although I sleep up to 8 hours now, I never sleep soundly or wake up refreshed.

What can I do?

Psychologist’s Reply

There is bad news here and good news. The bad news is that when vicious cycles of anxiety go unchecked, a person’s stress tolerance threshold can diminish (causing even minor events to trigger panic) and one’s sense of self-efficacy and esteem can be significantly diminished.

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The good news is that treatments for anxiety are some of the most reliable interventions in all of mental health. There is really no reason to suffer. Sometimes the interventions involve medications, sometimes only therapy, and most often a combination of both (with medication often used in the initial course of treatment to re-balance brain chemistry, lessen symptoms, and provide an atmosphere in with other therapies can eventually be more effective).

So, there is indeed something you can do. Make it a point to seek help from a mental health professional who is experienced in the area of anxiety management. And if cost is an issue, be aware that there are a number of self-help and support groups also available that employ accepted cognitive-behavioral techniques to help you overcome your fears.

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