Upset and Angry Over Others’ Lack of Love For Animals

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Reader’s Question

I’m a 22-year-old female who lives in Kosovo. It’s hard to find a psychologist in my country, and I have not been able to diagnose myself. So, I thought I’d ask about my issues here.

My problem is becoming angry and overly emotional about some things. You see, I love animals. But in my country animals are treated very badly and that is making my life miserable. Not a day passes without my crying about the things I see. I try to help, but I can’t save the thousands of dogs and cats I see every day all over the place, smashed by cars and being abused by people. I tried a couple of times to intervene, but people get aggressive and very mean to me. And now I’ve acquired a hatred toward people who don’t love animals the way I do.

I can’t even hurt a fly, but when I have to deal with people who are mean to me or animals, I lose control and start yelling at them. An unimaginable great strength comes to me, and I have to control myself or I might even start to hit people. The problem is that when I get upset like that I don’t even remember what I said, or how it all got started. It’s like I am in some sort of trance where I cannot control myself!

Generally, I have a good life. I quit university because I wasn’t able to communicate with people, due to their very different points of views. I also became so distant from my friends and family that my social life no longer exists. I even opened a non-governmental organization for the protection of animals, but I really have no support at all for this endeavor.

I seriously need some help or advice because I think I’m going crazy!

Psychologist’s Reply

There are individuals who feel a unique bond to animals and who dedicate their lives to protecting them. You might just be one of those persons. And the fact that you’ve taken some steps to channel your concern into positive action is commendable.

There are some things which you report, however — e.g., intolerance for the views of others, social avoidance, possibly obsessive concerns — that suggest you might be struggling with other issues which, although they might possibly heighten your sensitivity to the plight of animals, may also be impairing your ability to function adaptively in your relationships. Sometimes a person takes up a cause out of purely noble intentions. But other times, burying oneself in a cause can represent a path of escape from the emotional conflicts at the root of one’s social discomfort. Sometimes anger is righteous and can provide solid motivation to right the wrongs in life. But sometimes it can also be a sign of an underlying depression.

Although it might be difficult to find a psychologist in your country, you might do well to consult with a counselor of some type. Not only might you get some needed support for your mission of mercy, but also you might gain some insight into any other issues fueling your anger and discontent.

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