I Thought People Were Following Me and Talking About Me

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Reader’s Question

I had left for college but decided to withdraw and take the year off because a week after I arrived a huge psychological problem began. Along with my reluctance to eat, I started to close myself off from the rest of the dorm and from my roommate. She was concerned and told my resident advisor who, after talking to me, asked me to see the university’s psychologist. I had unreasonable thoughts that everyone on the floor hated me and was talking about me. It came to the point that I was too scared to go down to eat and was in my room all day. My parents rushed to pick me up. Luckily, the withdrawal was made without huge consequences, and with the recommendation that I should see someone.

A few weeks after I was home, things returned to normal for a while. But with my broken routine and all, I started to think people were following me — keeping a watch on me — so I tried to avoid going outside. My parents forced me to get out of the house often to try and help me stop thinking like that (e.g., going to church, taking taekwondo, going along with my mom to pick up my sisters, running errands, working out at a 24-hour fitness center, etc.).

I thought people were talking about me when I saw them on their phones. I’m guessing this part is paranoia? I felt as if I had cameras in my own room and house, and that everything was tampered with. The phone, TV and computer were all exhibiting images and ideas that were meant for me to see — for me to ‘solve’ or something, or that there was some kind of secret message in them. I felt the need to ‘prove that I was a good person’ to the ‘people’ who thought I was bad, or was going to do something bad. I became super self-conscious of my every word (thus, didn’t talk much) and action. It became so bad I started to suspect my own sister (of ‘helping the other side’) and my parents (for maybe trying to poison me). This was really weird because I know they love me and I love them very much.

Psychologist’s Reply

It sounds like you have great support from your family and from the school. I notice that you did not mention that you’ve taken their advice and gone to see a psychologist yet. You’re very good at describing the problems you’re having, and that will be hugely useful when you do see the psychologist. Here, online, one is not able to diagnose or build a treatment plan. There are too many possible causes for your problem to venture a guess. However, the impact this is having is serious and warrants a professional evaluation. Once you have that, then you can think about how to care for yourself and get back on a constructive tack.

My best advice at this time is to follow up on the evaluation and keep observing yourself as well as you are now. I expect that what mystifies you now will change into a plan to help you find your way back to peace and clear-thinking, once you have that feedback.

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